If we all shrunk in our ability to serve simply because we feared what others might think, where would we be as humans, what great achievements would have forever lingered in the dustbin of broken dreams?
– Brendon Buchard
Recently I did an amazing workshop and one of the concepts I learnt was taking 100% responsibility. There are times we get stuck in our situation, feeling like a victim. Thinking to yourself – I am not good enough, I have taken a long break Or Why me. A lot of negativity can set in with such thoughts.
I have been there myself, but there is a way to get out of the loop. There is a way to create life of your vision. Your own life, not anyone else’s vision of what your life should be like. The first step is to start taking 100% responsibility.
Taking 100% responsibility is about getting out of the stories our mind is telling us. It is our mind telling us we are not good enough. It is our mind wanting us to believe that we are victim of the situation.
Here are some tips on what you can do to accept 100% responsibility to take charge of your own career and your own life without blaming anyone else and without holding anyone else responsible.
- Love yourself, appreciate what you have created. Look at everything in your life that is going well. It could be your kids, your health, your education, your partner. Find gratitude for what you have. Certainly there are wonderful things happening. Your accomplishments are just as important as your missteps. Congratulate yourself on your successes.
- Stop being the victim, Change your mindset. Remembering that it’s your own life, if you find yourself in less than ideal situation, wonder into how you have created this situation. This could be frightening when we start looking at ourselves instead of finding someone else to blame like our parents, society, husband, circumstances, education etc. Always remembering there is a choice and that choice in your own.
- Explore the purpose of your life beyond just earning money or being in a career because someone else wants you to do so. Ponder over the question – What do I really want? The best way for me is to sit in a comfortable position, close my eyes and start going inward while asking this question to myself. This question can apply to any situation. As you answer this question for yourself, you might get clarity on not just your professional career but the choices you are making in your life. Being on a break is a great time to take a step back and start creating your ideal life. Remember your ideal life is about you and the choices you make. These choices are what determine the outcome of life, as opposed to what ‘happened’ to us. Can you step outside your belief system, can you change your perspective on life?
- Make friends with your inner critic. Inner critic is the voice in your head that continues to create self-doubt. It tells us we are not good enough or finding reasons of why we can’t be successful. Inner critics love making stories. The inner critics keep us in a state of monkey mind by continually keeping us from reaching our fullest potential. The best way to deal with this voice in your head is to acknowledge it. Once you have acknowledged it, then ask your inner critic to be your ally, your friend. Instead of always telling you that you are not good enough or putting fear in you, ask this voice to become your ally to help you to achieve your dreams.
- Shift your perspective – If you have been defending yourself and telling yourself reasons of why you haven’t been able to make progress, I invite you to shift that perspective to learning. Learning about yourself and take action based on what you find.
Shifting Perspective- An Exercise
Here is a wonderful exercise that can help you shift perspective and take actions. Find one issue or a difficult situation in your life. For example – I am not able to find a job after career break? Ask yourself following questions in order
- How am I creating this? How am I responsible for this? - The way I am creating this situation is that I have not worked in a long time and my skills are not up to date.
- is there more to this situation than what I am accepting? Is there anything I don’t want to face? I actually don’t want to go back to corporate life but I am afraid to do anything else
- Why am I keeping this situation the way it is? What’s my motivation? I am not keeping the situation, I am trying. Maybe I am not trying hard enough because I don’t really like the corporate life
- What would I rather be experiencing? – I want to be putting my skills and education to use, but I want flexibility
- Think of one action that is time bound, realistic, specific – Think of 5 different ways to earn money while putting my skills and education to use and having flexibility in my life by end of this month.
Contributed by Anshu Singh
Anshu worked as technologist for 20+ years in California when she realised her passion of changing lives and helping people. She is a certified yoga teacher and brings positivity in lives through yoga, energy healing and breath work. She is strategy advisor for relauncHER- an initiative to bring experienced women professionals back to work.